OFFICIAL ROAST REPORT
We're sorry. Actually, no we're not.
Pellston's entire identity is being the "Icebox of the Nation" with a whopping 774 people who brag about hitting -53°F in 1933. Imagine your town's greatest achievement being so cold that even polar bears would ask for a sweater. The sign literally advertises misery as a tourist attraction.
With 774 residents scattered across 1.91 square miles, Pellston has the social dynamics of a high school cafeteria where everyone's related by marriage or frostbite. The most exciting event is probably watching someone's car not start in the morning. Privacy died here faster than car batteries in January.
The University of Michigan Biological Station chose Pellston because nothing says "advanced scientific research" like a place where your lab equipment freezes solid half the year. These students pay tuition to experience what Siberian researchers get hazard pay for. It's like a semester abroad, if abroad meant the North Pole.
Pellston Regional Airport serves as the town's crown jewel, proving that even frozen wastelands need runways for emergency medical evacuations. The airport probably has more de-icing equipment than actual passengers, and the runway doubles as the town's main social gathering spot when the one scheduled flight gets cancelled due to "weather."
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