Roasted Mar 18, 2026189 views189 pts
We're sorry. Actually, no we're not.
Your Harbor Point Association is literally a gated community founded in 1878 by Presbyterian families from Lansing — which is the most aggressively mediocre origin story for an exclusive enclave. Cottages are 'often passed down within families,' because apparently your main qualification for membership is inheriting great-great-grandpa's boring summer place from when he sold grain futures.
You're literally smaller than most high schools but still call yourself a 'city and resort community.' Your median age skews so old that Harbor Springs is basically God's waiting room with a marina. The most exciting thing that happens here is when someone under 50 shows up and everyone whispers about 'the young folks.'
Everyone acts like your stretch of M-119 is some mystical experience, but it's literally just trees over a road — congratulations on discovering what a canopy is. Fall tourists drive up from Chicago expecting Narnia and get a slightly prettier version of every other Michigan back road. Your biggest attraction is literally driving through it and leaving.
Your food scene peaks at 'authentic Polish cuisine' and bakeries with 'massive homemade cookies,' which sounds like what happens when someone's Michigan grandma gets ambitious. The most fine dining you can muster is probably a place that puts whitefish on a kaiser roll and calls it gourmet. Even your own tourism board can't think of anything better to brag about than big cookies.
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