Roasted May 21, 202696 views96 pts
We're sorry. Actually, no we're not.
Your biggest tourist attraction is Dinosaur Gardens, a Christian nature trail full of concrete dinosaurs. You've managed to create the world's least exciting Jurassic Park, where the main event is a gift shop and a walk in the woods.
You're so famous for your giant Paul Bunyan statue that you had to give him a Babe the Blue Ox to stand next to, because a lumberjack alone wasn't enough to make anyone pull over. Nothing says small-town charm like roadside attractions that need a sidekick to get noticed.
Your entire food scene revolves around diner breakfast and whatever comfort food you can pile on a plate. People drive hours to your tiny town to eat pastry, which tells you everything about what passes for excitement here.
In 1973, you literally held a funeral for a pile of pizzas, complete with mourners and a eulogy. The pizzas had been buried because they were unfit to eat, and you still gave them a send-off. Somehow this remains your most historically significant event.
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