Roasted May 21, 2026109 views109 pts
We're sorry. Actually, no we're not.
Your town sits twelve minutes from Michigan's capital and still managed to miss out on it. Lansing got the statehouse, the Capitol dome, and the Oldsmobile history. You got the county courthouse, a very nice one, and a permanent view of what greatness looks like from a distance.
Dart Container makes billions of foam cups that end up in landfills on every continent. Your town's greatest contribution to humanity is making the planet less habitable, one foam cup at a time.
You've got cattle grazing within city limits because there's more space than people worth counting. Your 'charming downtown' is probably three buildings and a gas station that also sells bait and pizza.
Malcolm X lived here as a teenager, got elected class president, was top of his class, and still walked out of town with a bigger life in mind. Mason had a front-row seat to a future that history-changing and responded by putting up a historical marker. That should tell you everything about Mason's inspiring atmosphere for greatness.
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