OFFICIAL ROAST REPORT
We're sorry. Actually, no we're not.
Your town literally tried to become Michigan's capital and got played by Lansing so hard that you're still the county seat as a consolation prize. Now you're the only place in America where the state capital isn't the county seat because you couldn't close the deal in 1847.
Dart Container makes literally billions of foam cups stamped 'Mason, Michigan' that end up in every landfill on Earth. Your town's greatest contribution to humanity is making the planet less habitable, one Solo cup at a time.
You've got cattle grazing within city limits because there's more space than people worth counting. Your 'charming downtown' is probably three buildings and a gas station that also sells bait and pizza.
Even Malcolm X spent part of his childhood here and immediately knew he had to get out to accomplish anything meaningful. That should tell you everything about Mason's inspiring atmosphere for greatness.
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