Roasted Apr 1, 2026107 views107 pts
We're sorry. Actually, no we're not.
Living in Glenview makes it "truly feel like Disneyland for families" according to locals, which explains why this place is so aggressively beige. When your biggest flex is having "quick access to two highways" and being near O'Hare, you've basically admitted your town is just a fancy pit stop.
A former naval air base got turned into a sprawling development called "The Glen" complete with shopping centers and golf courses, because nothing says "authentic community" like bulldozing military history for a shopping complex anchored by Von Maur. It's suburbia so manufactured, you half expect the retention ponds to come with a floor plan.
With median home values north of half a million dollars, Glenview residents are paying Ferrari prices for Honda Civic living. Sure, you get Target, Kohl's, Costco, and The Home Depot nearby, but imagine explaining to your therapist that you're house-poor so you can make a Costco run faster.
Glenview is "much more diverse than other US cities", yet somehow still manages to feel like every resident shops at the same three stores and drives the same luxury SUVs. All those religious communities probably just means they argue about which country club has the better brunch buffet.
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