Roasted Mar 9, 2026180 views180 pts
We're sorry. Actually, no we're not.
Villa Olivia was a ski resort built to create mountains in a place flatter than a pancake. Skiers reported slopes that were 'basically pure ice' with tow ropes operated by kids who turned them off for fun, leaving people stranded mid-hill. Nothing says winter sports paradise like paying premium prices to slide down what amounts to a frozen parking lot, and now even that is gone.
This suburban wonderland has a heavy dose of Polish and Italian heritage, because apparently Luther Bartlett's train depot put the town on the map for people who really, really love pierogis and pasta. The most exotic thing about this place is their massive Hindu temple, which must feel like it landed on an alien planet surrounded by strip malls and Dairy Queens.
Bartlett's safety rankings are its equivalent of a participation trophy for existing. When your biggest excitement is the annual 4th of July parade and a trip to the Dairy Queen, crime doesn't have much competition. Even the criminals are probably too bored to commit felonies here.
This place transformed from actual farmland into cookie-cutter suburbia faster than you can say 'urban sprawl.' Wheat and cornfields became McMansions, because nothing says progress like paving over perfectly good agriculture to build houses that all look exactly the same. At least the farmers got a good price before their land became someone's three-car garage.
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