Roasted Mar 9, 2026402 views7 shares409 pts
We're sorry. Actually, no we're not.
Oblong named itself after the oblong-shaped prairie it sits on, which is the most literal naming decision in Illinois history. Before that it was called Henpeck, a name that sounds like a lifetime of being nagged, and honestly would have been way funnier on the welcome sign.
With a 2020 census count of about 1,400 people, Oblong is down from its peak of nearly 1,900 and is basically the town equivalent of a washed-up one-hit wonder. At this rate of decline, their 'Annual Hootenanny' will soon just be three people and a banjo in someone's backyard.
The Illinois Oil Field Museum showcases 'early oilfield artifacts'—because nothing says thrilling weekend getaway like staring at rusty drilling equipment that's older than your grandfather's jokes.
Their big yearly celebration is the Hootenanny, which we can only assume features some live music, a few classic cars, and food made by someone's aunt: basically a church potluck with delusions of grandeur. When your town's cultural highlight is something called a 'Hootenanny,' you know you're scraping the bottom of the excitement barrel.
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