Roasted Mar 10, 202693 views93 pts
We're sorry. Actually, no we're not.
Glen Ellyn went through several names including Babcock's Grove, Stacy's Corners, Newton's Station, Danby, and Prospect Park before finally settling on a Welsh-style spelling of some guy's wife's name. Even the town founders couldn't decide what to call this place, probably because 'Generic Suburb #47' was already taken.
High school girls regularly take over restaurant seats to eat lunches they brought from home, with maybe one girl actually ordering something while the rest freeload seating. Glen Ellyn: where even the teenagers know the food scene is so unremarkable they'd rather brown-bag it than support local businesses.
Local reviews obsess over burgers with religious fervor, repeatedly screaming 'AMAZING BURGERS!' in all caps. When your town's cultural peak is debating whether Main Street Pub or Ellyn's Tap has better beef patties, you've basically become a strip mall with a zip code.
Glen Ellyn discovered mineral springs in the late 1880s and tried marketing itself as 'Chicago's newest health resort,' opening a grand hotel on the shores of Lake Ellyn around 1890. Nothing says 'relaxing spa destination' like a suburb betting its entire future on questionable water and a man-made pond.
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