Roasted Mar 9, 2026136 views1 share137 pts
We're sorry. Actually, no we're not.
Your town bank got robbed and still couldn't stay open. The Bank of Tightwad ended up shut down, because apparently being ironic about money doesn't actually make you good at banking. Now you've got a post office and some rusty junk in a field.
Your whole town is a few dozen people, and half of them remember when that watermelon scandal was breaking news. You're so committed to being cheap that your café wouldn't spend a dime on anything fancy. The most exciting thing that happens there is somebody new pulling in to take a picture of the town sign.
Your fine dining establishment features John Wayne memorabilia, 'live entertainment' consisting of local gossip, and a menu priced to protect the tightwad brand. The blue plate special somehow still feels overpriced for a town named after being cheap.
Your entire town identity stems from one man getting ripped off for half a dollar on a watermelon. You built a whole municipality around the memory of bad customer service and somehow made it your entire personality.
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