Roasted Jun 3, 202699 views99 pts
We're sorry. Actually, no we're not.
Your biggest claim to fame is a wave of brain tumor diagnoses among your high school's graduates, over 100 by the count of former students. They literally found a grapefruit-sized radioactive rock in a science closet, but sure, keep calling it the "Garden State."
You're so boring that residents literally say "there's not much to do" and escape to neighboring towns for fun. Even the fictional pretentious snob in Seattle would've mapped a getaway route out of here by Tuesday.
Your only distinguishing feature is a Garden State Parkway exit people use to get somewhere else. You're the scrappy afterthought nobody planned for, a place so generic the highway signs are the most memorable thing about it.
You've got Tico Torres from Bon Jovi, but not even stadium rock energy could make this place interesting. You're literally just a "bedroom community" where people sleep before commuting to actual cities.
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