Roasted Mar 10, 2026114 views114 pts
We're sorry. Actually, no we're not.
This is where retirees come in droves, making it Florida's 7th largest city that nobody even knows exists. Congratulations on having more canals than Venice, Italy - too bad nobody cares about your discount waterfront suburbia.
You've got 400 miles of canals and waterfront homes, but somehow managed to create the most boring boating community on earth. Even a fancy-town audit would flunk you on the first page - at least you're honest about your mediocrity.
The school bathrooms are a warzone, and the hallways are packed with broccoli-haired vapers and freshmen thinking they're comedians. Nothing says quality education like a hall pass that doubles as a hostage negotiation.
Your economy is propped up by real estate, retail, and healthcare - you've basically become Florida's assisted living facility with a zip code. Enjoy the traffic nightmares when the snowbirds arrive, followed by summers so hot and humid you'll pray for the sweet release of hurricane season.
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