THE ROAST BLOG
EVERY TOWN HAS A STORY
In-depth roasts and real talk about every town we've destroyed.
Welcome to Skippack, Pennsylvania—a census-designated place that has somehow convinced itself it's the Bavarian countryside, despite bein...
Ever wonder what happens when you take two Welsh towns, mash them together with all the precision of a drunk post office worker, and plop...
Welcome to Toms River, New Jersey — a town that somehow turned environmental catastrophe into a tourist attraction and proudly calls Ocea...
Welcome to Port Washington, New York—the affluent Long Island hamlet where the median household income is $170,127 and the biggest claim ...
Welcome to Havertown, Pennsylvania's 37,590-person experiment in suburban limbo, nestled approximately 9 miles west of Philadelphia — clo...
Welcome to Reading, Pennsylvania, a city with more identity crises than a teenager's TikTok account. Reading (/ˈrɛdɪŋ/ RED-ing; Pennsylva...
Welcome to Phoenixville, Pennsylvania – a town that somehow turned economic trauma into tourism gold by convincing thousands of people to...
Welcome to Quakertown, Pennsylvania—a town so committed to mediocrity that it's turned bland into an art form. Nestled in Bucks County li...
Ever visit a place so desperate to impress you that it accidentally reveals all its insecurities? Meet Lenox, Massachusetts – the town th...
Welcome to Cheshire, Massachusetts, where the most exciting thing that ever happened involved dairy products and where the population was...
The Town That Exists by Accident
Welcome to Schwenksville, Pennsylvania – a town so committed to staying frozen in 1969 that even their population count feels like it's b...
The Happy Chef's Town (Population: One Giant Statue and 44,487 Humans)
Ah, Plano, Texas – a city so perfectly manicured that even its name screams corporate efficiency. While the rest of Texas celebrates its ...
Welcome to San Francisco, California—the only city where you can experience all four seasons in a single morning and pay rent higher than...
Welcome to Maryville, Tennessee – a charming city of 31,907 people that bills itself as the "Gateway to the Smokies" but functions more l...
If you're looking for a place where Confederate fortifications have been replaced by strip malls and where your biggest enemy isn't Union...
Welcome to Stonehouse, Gloucestershire—a place where Müller (a dairy company) churns out more excitement than the town itself, and where ...
Welcome to Haslett, Michigan—the place where dreams don't come to die so much as they politely retire to a modest ranch home with a 15-to...
Nestled between the River Clyde and the M74 motorway, Larkhall sits on high ground between the River Clyde to the East and the Avon Water...
When most people think "vacation destination," Spring Lake, Michigan doesn't exactly spring to mind. But hey, neither does watching paint...
Grand Haven, Michigan—the self-proclaimed "Coast Guard City, USA"—is a fascinating study in how a perfectly decent lakefront community ca...
Looking for a place where "population boom" refers to gaining three new residents in a decade? Welcome to Stanwood, Michigan—a village so...
Welcome to the middle of nowhere, folks! If you've ever wondered what happens when Las Vegas and a truck stop have a baby that nobody rea...
Welcome to Sin City, where dreams come to die faster than your grandmother's slot machine strategy. Las Vegas is home to approximately 66...