ROAST MY TOWN

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THE ROAST BLOG

EVERY TOWN HAS A STORY

In-depth roasts and real talk about every town we've destroyed.

Martin, Tennessee: Where Soybeans Reign Supreme and College Dreams Come to Life

Picture this: a town that genuinely threw a parade for beans. Not coffee beans. Not jelly beans. Soybeans. Welcome to Martin, Tennessee, ...

MAR 23
Waverly, Tennessee: Where Even Nature Can't Make Up Its Mind

A Town Built on Spectacular Failures (And One Famous Neighbor)

MAR 23
When 300 Was Too Spartan: Inside New Jersey's Playground for Fake Aristocrats

Welcome to Sparta, New Jersey – where the only thing more artificial than the lake is the Swiss-German architecture surrounding it. This ...

MAR 23
Garfield, New Jersey: The Hidden Polish Paradise That Manhattan Commuters Can Actually Afford

Welcome to Garfield, New Jersey – where dreams go to pay slightly less rent while still pretending they live "near the city." Nestled in ...

MAR 23
The Grand Strand's Greatest Hit: Surviving Myrtle Beach, South Carolina's Organized Chaos

Welcome to Myrtle Beach, South Carolina—"popularly known as the Grand Strand" and spanning "60 miles along the northeast coast" where you...

MAR 23
Chattanooga: Where Tow Trucks Meet Michelin Stars and Nobody Talks About the Air Quality

The "Scenic City" That Made Its Fortune Celebrating Car Problems

MAR 23
New London, Connecticut: Where History Meets Dysfunction (And the Coast Guard Pretends Not to See)

The Whaling Capital That Peaked 150 Years Ago

MAR 22
Missouri's Most Accidentally Hilarious Town: Your Complete Guide to Stover

When a town literally named itself after agricultural leftovers and somehow still manages to exist in 2026, you know you've stumbled onto...

MAR 22
Kansas City, Missouri: The BBQ Capital That Peaked in the Jazz Age (And Is Still Trying to Convince Everyone It's Cool)

Welcome to Kansas City, Missouri — the 520,000-person metropolis that's spent nearly a century playing catch-up to its own golden era. Th...

MAR 22
Where Dreams Go to Die and Churches Go to Multiply: A Journey Through Wheaton, Illinois

The Holy Grail of Suburban Overachievement

MAR 22
The Windy City Chronicles: Chicago's Guide to Loving Your Flaws

Welcome to Chicago, Illinois — the third-most populous city in the United States with a population of 2.7 million — where we've mastered ...

MAR 22
The Bicycle Capital Where Dreams Go to Smell Like Manure: A Love Letter to Davis, California

If you've ever wondered what would happen if a bunch of PhD students got high on sustainable living principles and decided to build their...

MAR 22
Big Sur: Where Mother Nature Charges Trophy Wife Prices for Hippie Dreams

Big Sur, California—75 miles of the Big Sur coastline as one of the most landslide-prone areas in the western United States—is like that ...

MAR 22
Petoskey, Michigan: Where Million-Dollar Sunsets Meet Rock-Hunting Obsessions

Welcome to Petoskey, Michigan, the charming lakeside town on Little Traverse Bay that's long been a resort area known for its fresh air, ...

MAR 22
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