THE ROAST BLOG
EVERY TOWN HAS A STORY
In-depth roasts and real talk about every town we've destroyed.
The Almost-Capital That Couldn't Close the Deal
Welcome to Fowlerville, Michigan — a town so small it makes a mall parking lot look spacious, yet somehow managed to make national headli...
Welcome to Mount Pleasant, Michigan—a city whose name is essentially false advertising and whose primary export is students who can't wai...
Welcome, brave travelers, to the sprawling monument to air conditioning that is Phoenix, Arizona. This concrete oasis is home to 1.64 mil...
Picture this: you're driving down US-23 through Northern Michigan, and suddenly you spot a large statue of Paul Bunyan with a neutered Ba...
The Great Snowbird Migration: Population Mathematics That Would Baffle NASA
Welcome to Naples, Florida—named by early promoters who claimed its bay's beauty "surpassed the bay of Naples, Italy"—a city where the mo...
Welcome to Mount Pleasant, Michigan – the 93rd most populated city in the state of Michigan out of 1,520 cities and living proof that som...
Welcome to Holt, Michigan—a place so perfectly average, it could be the poster child for "aggressively adequate." This unincorporated com...
With a population of just 3,810, this North Norfolk market town has somehow managed to convince the world it's a Georgian architectural m...
Picture a place where architectural ambition meets economic reality so hard it creates a sonic boom that lasts 15 seconds. Welcome to Ham...
Welcome to Delta, Ohio, a village so delightfully unremarkable that it makes mayonnaise seem spicy. But don't let that discourage you—som...
Picture this: You're driving through northwest Ohio when suddenly, you hit a town that looks like someone mixed Norman Rockwell's fever d...
Welcome to Westbury, New York—the Long Island community that proves sometimes the journey is the destination, especially when that journe...
Welcome to Carle Place, New York—a hamlet that was literally the prototype for the American Dream, originally known as Frog Hollow and Mi...
Let's be clear from the start: Dhaka is the bustling capital of Bangladesh and one of the most densely populated cities in the world. Wit...
Welcome to Washington, District of Columbia – America's most expensive therapy session, where over 702,000 people have collectively decid...
Picture this: You're driving through Hamburg when suddenly the GPS starts speaking in numbers that sound suspiciously like your student l...
Welcome to Niš, Serbia's self-proclaimed "gateway between East and West" that's somehow managed to turn human skulls into a tourist attra...
Welcome to Belgrade, the capital of Serbia where civilizations have fought over the city in 115 wars and razed it to the ground 44 times—...
Picture this: you're driving through Vermont, expecting maple syrup farms and charming covered bridges, when suddenly you stumble upon Wh...
Welcome to the "only Zumbrota in the world," a distinction that feels both oddly specific and surprisingly necessary in a state where mos...
If you've ever wondered what happens when wealth decides to take a very long, very expensive nap, look no further than Winchester, Massac...
There's something deliciously Vermont about Greensboro—a town so small that its "downtown" consists of basically one general store and a ...
Welcome to Lisbon, Portugal's sun-soaked capital where the only thing rising faster than the rent prices is the number of locals fleeing ...