ROAST MY TOWN

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THE ROAST BLOG

EVERY TOWN HAS A STORY

In-depth roasts and real talk about every town we've destroyed.

When the Earth Literally Moves for College Football: A Guide to Blacksburg, Virginia

Welcome to Blacksburg, Virginia—a town that exists in a perpetual state of academic adolescence, where the median age is 21.9 years becau...

JUN 8
Zieglersville, PA: Where Dreams Go to Die in a Roundabout (But It's Oddly Charming)

If you've ever wondered what happens when two roads can't figure out how to say goodbye gracefully, look no further than Zieglersville, P...

JUN 8
Harleysville: Pennsylvania's Most Aggressively Beige Adventure Awaits

Welcome to Harleysville, Pennsylvania—the town that perfected the art of suburban normalcy so thoroughly, it accidentally became interest...

JUN 8
Ardsley, Pennsylvania: Where History Lives (Literally) and Commuters Cry

Welcome to Ardsley, Pennsylvania – the kind of place where your biggest neighborly dispute is whether the Hillside Cemetery or Ardsley Bu...

JUN 8
Springmont, PA: Where 724 People Mastered the Art of Suburban Camouflage

Welcome to Springmont, Pennsylvania—a census-designated place in Spring Township, Berks County, Pennsylvania, United States located along...

JUN 8
From Doll Name to Main Street Fame: Why Zelienople, PA Is Pennsylvania's Quirkiest Small Town

Welcome to Zelienople, Pennsylvania—where the town was named for the eldest daughter of Baron Dettmar Basse, whose chosen name was Zelie ...

JUN 8
The Ultimate Guide to Chalfont, Pennsylvania: When Suburban Dreams Meet Glorious Mediocrity

Welcome, brave traveler, to Chalfont, Pennsylvania - home to a whopping 4,253 residents and a spot on the National Register of Historic P...

JUN 8
When Your Town's Peak Was Playing Hollywood's Gelatinous Understudy: A Survival Guide to Royersford, PA

Welcome to Royersford, Pennsylvania—a charming borough where parts of the classic 1958 horror film The Blob, starring Steve McQueen, were...

JUN 8
Upper Providence Township, PA: Where Suburban Dreams Go to Shop for Groceries

Welcome to Upper Providence Township, Pennsylvania—a township in Montgomery County with a population of 21,219—where William Penn once ow...

JUN 8
João Pessoa, Brazil: Where Sunrises Are Mandatory and Disappointment Is Always Early

Welcome to the easternmost point of the Americas, where 1.46 million people wake up to the sun three hours before they probably want to. ...

JUN 4
Crixás, Brazil: Where Gold Rush Dreams Go to Die (But the Pequi Lives On)

Welcome to Crixás, a municipality in northwestern Goiás state, Brazil, with a population of 17,044 (2020) sprawled across 4,661.5 km² of ...

JUN 4
New Hope, PA: Where Hipster Dreams Go to Pay $1,000 a Night (And Love It)

The Perfect Storm of Gentrified Charm and Tourist Traps

JUN 4
Trappe, Pennsylvania: Where Small-Town Charm Meets Surprising International Flair

Nestled in Montgomery County, the borough of Trappe proves that you don't need to be famous to be fascinating. With just over 4,000 resid...

JUN 4
When Dreams Go to Die: A Brutally Honest Guide to Pottstown, Pennsylvania

Where Hope Comes to Rest (And Maybe Get a Drink)

JUN 4
Spring Mount, PA: Where Pennsylvania Dreams Go to Hibernate

A Town So Nice, You'll Know Everyone Twice

JUN 4
The Ultimate Guide to Gilbertsville, PA: Where Suburban Dreams Meet Small-Town Reality

Picture a place so quintessentially suburban that it makes watching paint dry seem thrilling. Welcome to Gilbertsville, Pennsylvania – a ...

JUN 3
Welcome to Holland, Texas: Where Geographic Centers and Dreams Go to Die

Picture this: you're driving through Central Texas at a perfectly reasonable 70 mph when suddenly you blink and miss an entire town. Cong...

JUN 3
Colonia, New Jersey: Where Even the High School Has Trust Issues

Welcome to Colonia, New Jersey — an unincorporated community and census-designated place in Woodbridge Township in Middlesex County that ...

JUN 3
Welcome to Limerick, PA: Where Nuclear Power Meets Outlet Shopping Dreams

A Tale of Two Limericks (One Actually Has Charm)

JUN 3
Souderton: Where Pennsylvania Towns Go to Feel Better About Themselves

Welcome to Souderton, Pennsylvania – the borough that puts the "eh" in "Pennsylvania heritage." This Montgomery County gem boasts a whopp...

JUN 3
Where Dreams Go to Get ZIP Codes: A Deep Dive into Perkiomenville, Pennsylvania

Welcome to Perkiomenville, Pennsylvania, where the unincorporated community is located in the north-west section of Montgomery County and...

JUN 3
Avalon, New Jersey: Where King Arthur's Dreams Go to Die (And Buy Overpriced Pizza)

Welcome to Avalon, New Jersey—a place so fancy it named itself after King Arthur's mystical island and then immediately forgot everything...

JUN 3
The Town That Peaked When It Burned Down a Toll Booth: Your Complete Guide to Collegeville, Pennsylvania

Welcome to Collegeville, Pennsylvania, a suburb where the biggest historical achievement involves literally burning down public infrastru...

JUN 3
Warminster, PA: Where Sauce-on-Top Pizza Dreams Go to Rest in Peace

Welcome to Warminster Township, Pennsylvania – a charming suburban enclave about 13.7 miles north of Philadelphia with a population of 33...

JUN 3
New Windsor, Maryland: Where Famous Art Meets Suburban Snooze

Welcome to New Windsor, Maryland — a town that somehow convinced itself it's culturally significant because one famous artist decided to ...

JUN 3
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