THE ROAST BLOG
EVERY TOWN HAS A STORY
In-depth roasts and real talk about every town we've destroyed.
Welcome to Miami, where the American dream comes with a side of stone crab and a 29% APR! This sultry South Florida metropolis has master...
The Numbers Don't Lie (But the Botox Helps)
Picture this: You've just dropped nearly three-quarters of a million dollars on a house so you can be really close to Target. Welcome to ...
Ah, San Diego — the city that desperately wants you to believe it's "America's Finest City" while simultaneously charging you $940,000 fo...
Welcome to the Big Apple, where 10,020,520 inhabitants have collectively decided that paying $3,000 a month to live in what's essentially...
Welcome to Laguna Beach, where the donation is the largest in the Laguna Beach museum's history because apparently spending millions on c...
Welcome to Hollywood, California — the only place on Earth where your parking meter costs more than your hometown's monthly rent, and eve...
From Hay Capital to Hockey Parent Paradise
Welcome to Oak Ridge, Tennessee—the "Atomic City, the Secret City, and the City Behind a Fence"—where the most dangerous weapons in human...
Welcome to Knoxville, Tennessee—a city that somehow convinced 11 million people to pay to see the Big Ears Festival and built a new Sunsp...
Welcome to Argos, Indiana—a place so small that its population of 1,777 could comfortably fit in a mid-sized concert venue, and probably ...
Welcome to Music City, where the honky-tonk never stops, the hot chicken burns eternally, and approximately 689,447 people live in denial...
Kingston is a city in and the county seat of Roane County, Tennessee, United States. As of the 2020 census, Kingston had a population of ...
Welcome to Lake Balboa, California — the neighborhood with an identity crisis so severe it literally changed its name and hoped no one wo...
Where Six-Figure Incomes Buy Strip Mall Dreams
Welcome to New Haven, Connecticut—the first planned city in the United States, founded in 1638 as a co-capital of the state during the Co...
When 2,936 people decide to declare themselves the epicenter of Cajun music, you know you're either witnessing the birth of delusions of ...
Welcome to Mamou, Guinea's self-proclaimed "Gateway to Fouta Djallon" – a title that's about as impressive as calling yourself the doorma...
Welcome to Charlotte, North Carolina—a city so confused about its identity it built a $160 million NASCAR Hall of Fame right downtown and...
The Town That Lost Its Fizz (But Kept Its Charm)
When most people think of presidential tourism, they picture Mount Vernon's stately elegance or Monticello's architectural genius. Then t...
Welcome to Spartanburg, the city that proves you don't need to aim high to hit your target. This "Sparkle City" (we'll get to that tragic...
If you've ever wondered what happens when a chemical company plays God with urban planning, may I present Old Hickory, Tennessee—a neighb...
Welcome to Beaverton, Oregon—the city literally named after beaver dams and stagnant water. With 97,494 residents as of the 2020 census, ...
Welcome to Kingsport, Tennessee—a city with a melody in its name and a history etched in stone and steel, where the first Pal's opened in...