Rancho Mirage, California: Where Presidents Play, Retirees Nap, and Disney Built a Lagoon

If you've ever wondered what happens when you give a desert to golfers, presidents, and Frank Sinatra, Rancho Mirage, California is your answer. It sits about ten miles southeast of Palm Springs, tucked against the Santa Rosa Mountains, and it is exactly as relaxing as a heating pad set to "medium."

RoastMyTown.com recently took a flamethrower to this place. We're here to say the town deserves some of it. We'll also say it deserves a margarita and a seat in the shade.

The "Playground of Presidents" (Bring a Walker, Not a Campaign Bus)

Rancho Mirage's nickname is real. The city has long been known as the "Playground of the Presidents," especially golfing ones, with everyone from Eisenhower to Obama playing its courses. The Annenberg estate, Sunnylands, was even nicknamed the "Camp David of the West" for the presidents who retreated there.

Gerald and Betty Ford made it their permanent address. They lived in Rancho Mirage for nearly 30 years after leaving office. Most of us can't hold a houseguest for a weekend, so that's a serious commitment.

Then there's the demographics, which the roast did not exaggerate. The median age is around 66. The town even has a growing-old infrastructure boom.

Sunnylands, Sinatra, and the Betty Ford Center (Yes, That One)

Rancho Mirage is not just tee times. Its history is genuinely glamorous. Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, Bing Crosby, Sammy Davis Jr., Lucille Ball, and Bob Hope all called it home at some point. The streets are named accordingly: you can sit in traffic on Bob Hope Drive or Frank Sinatra Drive.

Sunnylands is the must-see. The estate was designed by architect A. Quincy Jones and completed in 1966. President Obama also used it for summit meetings with world leaders. If a global summit can happen here, surely you can manage a long weekend without checking your email.

Then there's the Betty Ford Center, which put the town on the world map. Rancho Mirage was already a billionaires' playground of gated golf resorts and spas before the center made it famous by treating Hollywood stars from Elizabeth Taylor to Lindsay Lohan. It has treated people since 1982. The roast cards joke about boredom, but this town has seen plenty of drama.

Rancho Mirage's roots are humbler than the celebrity parade suggests. The land was developed as farmland and ranches beginning in the 1920s. For far longer, it has been home to the Agua Caliente Band of Cahuilla Indians. The city itself is young. It incorporated in 1973.

Early Bird Specials and the Restaurant-Per-Capita Flex

The roast says the food is bland, and we're going to push back a little. Rancho Mirage has plenty of restaurants for a town its size. That's a lot of places to order the chicken breast.

The social hub for years has been The River. With its fountain, Yard House patio, and Saturday-night amphitheater, it has served as the default meeting place for residents who want to walk somewhere after dinner. Yes, "walk somewhere after dinner" is the town's idea of nightlife, and honestly, it sounds lovely.

Your bedtime is also safe from the Coachella crowd. Rancho Mirage sits in the same valley as the festival, but it is as far from a mosh pit as you can get while still holding a drink.

Disney Built a Lagoon in the Desert (Because Obviously)

The roast says even Disney had to build a fantasy community here because reality wasn't entertaining enough. It's one of the better burns, and it's mostly true. Cotino Bay Beach, Dining and Shops is the town center for the Storyliving by Disney community. That's a beach, in the desert, with a shopping street attached.

The planned lineup includes Elevare, a refined American restaurant with views of Cotino Bay and the San Jacinto Mountains. A sugar-free dessert menu has never looked so ambitious.

The desert has drama after all, it just comes with paperwork.

And that walkability? The golf cart really is the transportation plan.

The Verdict

Rancho Mirage, California is sunny, rich, quiet, and proud of it. It has more presidential history than most state capitals and a rehab center that changed how America talks about addiction. You can see a Disney lagoon and get a tee time before lunch. Is it a wild party town? No. Is it a surprisingly good place to slow down? Absolutely.

Think we were too nice? See the full roast on RoastMyTown.com.