Roasted Mar 9, 2026151 views1 share152 pts
We're sorry. Actually, no we're not.
They call it the 'Playground of Presidents' but with a median age of 66 and a population that's overwhelmingly white, it's more like a holding pattern for people waiting to meet their maker. The seasonal population swells because half the residents only show up to avoid dying in snow.
A 1974 Desert Sun article called Rancho Mirage 'The Country Club Capital of the World.' Congrats on achieving peak irrelevance—you've built an entire city around activities that require golf carts because walking is too strenuous. The city is made up almost entirely of retirees or people whose life-style doesn't include full time work. People in Rancho Mirage spend most of their time golfing, relaxing or visiting/hosting friends and family.
With that many restaurants for so few residents, you'd think the food would be incredible, but it's mostly early bird specials and sugar-free desserts served to people whose biggest culinary adventure is adding salt to their Jell-O.
Rancho Mirage is one of the smaller cities in the Coachella Valley. It's also one of the wealthiest. It's a resort and retirement town where the biggest thrill is a tee time moving up fifteen minutes, which is like bragging about having one more minute in purgatory. Even Disney built a whole planned community here, because apparently a city that already feels like a theme park for retirees wasn't enough.
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