OFFICIAL ROAST REPORT
We're sorry. Actually, no we're not.
They call it the 'Playground of Presidents' but with a median age of 66 and nearly 90% white population, it's more like a holding pattern for people waiting to meet their maker. It's almost 90% white, with a median age of about 66 years in a place where the seasonal population swells because half the residents only show up to avoid dying in snow.
A 1974 Desert Sun article called Rancho Mirage 'The Country Club Capital of the World.' Congrats on achieving peak irrelevance—you've built an entire city around activities that require golf carts because walking is too strenuous. The city is made up almost entirely of retirees or people whose life-style doesn't include full time work. People in Rancho Mirage spend most of their time golfing, relaxing or visiting/hosting friends and family.
On a per-capita basis, the city is home to one eatery for every 240 residents, making it the city in the Coachella Valley with the most restaurants per capita. With that kind of ratio, you'd think the food would be incredible, but it's mostly early bird specials and sugar-free desserts served to people whose biggest culinary adventure is adding salt to their Jell-O.
Known as the desert's bedroom community, Rancho Mirage is one of the least populated cities in the Coachella Valley. It's also one of the wealthiest. They marketed it as offering 'one more hour of sunshine than Palm Springs'—which is like bragging about having one more minute in purgatory. Even Disney had to create an entire fantasy community here because reality wasn't entertaining enough.
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