OFFICIAL ROAST REPORT
We're sorry. Actually, no we're not.
Spring Mount's crown jewel is a ski mountain with exactly eight trails and four lifts, making it the closest thing to skiing for people who think Allentown is too far. The mountain transforms into 'SCREAM MOUNTAIN' for Halloween because apparently even their haunted attractions need to sound like a desperate marketing meeting from 2003.
With a whopping 0.65 square miles and 91% white demographics, Spring Mount is what happens when someone takes the phrase 'close-knit community' and runs it through a suburban cookie cutter. It's the kind of place where the biggest excitement is deciding whether to drive 26 miles to Philadelphia or 23 miles to Allentown for actual culture.
The local culinary scene peaks at Moccia's Train Stop, which proudly serves 'some of Pennsylvania's best cheesesteaks' - a claim that's either wildly optimistic or tragically revealing about Pennsylvania. The ski resort supplements this fine dining with two food trucks and a beer truck, because nothing says gourmet like ordering dinner from a window on wheels.
Spring Mount once had an amusement park and observatory that shut down in 1901, which tells you everything about this town's trajectory. The area used to welcome 'die Sommer Frischlers' - summer people seeking refreshment - but now it's just regular people seeking something to do besides stare at the Perkiomen Trail and contemplate the Spring Mountain House that got torn down due to vandalism.
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