San Diego, California

Roasted Mar 29, 2026109 views1 share110 pts

We're sorry. Actually, no we're not.

PEOPLE

America's finest city of entitled plastic surgery addicts

America's Finest City is a nickname your own city leaders invented back in the 1970s, which is like giving yourself a trophy and then bragging about the engraving. You live in a place where people call the locals 'egotistical and apathetic' but somehow convinced yourselves you're special for having good weather that literally half of California shares. When it drops to the 40s you break out parkas like it's the arctic, proving you're softer than your overpriced avocado toast.

SPORTS

Your sports teams are cursed losers who abandon you

The Chargers spent years asking for a new stadium, and when San Diego voters shot down Measure C in 2016, the team fled to LA in 2017 like an abusive ex who took the car. San Diego fans still hate the Chargers, and they're very upset with that organization. As long as they've existed, the Chargers have been defined by their crushing failures - and you still somehow miss them.

CULTURE

Flip-flops and fake chill: your personality is a lie

Flip flops were made for San Diego and you wear them everywhere, to bars, to work, probably to your own wedding, because you people have zero self-respect. You perfected the art of being chillaxed with valley girl accents while secretly being surprisingly rude, cold, aloof, and unfriendly. Your entire vibe is 'I'm too cool to care' while obsessing over craft beer rankings and whether you caught the green flash at sunset.

GEOGRAPHY

Paying the sunshine tax for mediocrity by the beach

Locals call that extra cost of living the 'sunshine tax' - paying a premium just to live in perfect weather year-round while pretending you're not completely financially screwed. You brag about having roughly 260 sunny days per year like that justifies spending nearly a million dollars on a starter home in a place where the most exciting cultural event is Comic-Con tourists clogging your streets. Non-Californians sometimes forget you're even here except during Comic-Con, which perfectly sums up your irrelevance.