Roasted Jun 1, 202689 views89 pts
We're sorry. Actually, no we're not.
Home to the headquarters of Frito-Lay, JCPenney, and Toyota Motor North America — because nothing says 'authentic Texas culture' like a city whose entire identity revolves around mass-produced corn chips and a dying department store. McMansions packed tight in subdivisions with few trees create the perfect backdrop for your soulless suburban fever dream.
Being one of the most racially diverse cities in the U.S. sounds impressive until you realize it's the kind of calculated diversity that corporate recruiters brag about in PowerPoint presentations. Wealth is high, but culture is definitely not — congratulations on achieving the demographic rainbow while maintaining the personality of a quarterly earnings report.
Named Plano from the Spanish word for 'flat' in reference to the local terrain — how fitting that both the landscape and the social scene have all the topographical excitement of a parking lot. Here's a joke, why is Plano called Plano? It's just a Plain Ol' town! Even their own residents are making dad jokes about how boring they are.
Women with big hair driving SUVs patrol these cookie-cutter neighborhoods like suburban warlords, enforcing HOA regulations with the intensity of international diplomacy. Coming from a rural environment, I find Plano to be pretentious — when Montana thinks you're putting on airs, maybe it's time for some serious self-reflection.
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