OFFICIAL ROAST REPORT
We're sorry. Actually, no we're not.
People wake up at 5:30 AM and wait in line for 4 hours just to eat barbecue at Franklin, and somehow this is considered normal behavior. The natives will make sure you know they were born here every time they meet someone who wasn't, like surviving a Franklin line is their Medal of Honor.
Austin's built its entire identity around 'Keep Austin Weird', which apparently just means charging $8 for breakfast tacos while celebrating a melancholy donkey's birthday with drum circles, drugs, and nudity. Nothing says authentic weirdness quite like making it your official marketing slogan.
Breakfast tacos are pretty much the official food item of Austin, and if you don't like them you might as well live somewhere else because you'll be shouted down. Where else but Austin would a 60-plus African-American vegetarian be able to get a soy chorizo breakfast taco? Peak Austin is making fake meat into fake Mexican food and calling it revolutionary.
A drive that should take about three hours between Austin and Dallas can take up to four and a half, thanks to the widely loathed I-35 construction. Austin somehow managed to build a city where you wouldn't bike under Interstate 35 and getting anywhere involves sitting in traffic longer than a Franklin BBQ line.
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