OFFICIAL ROAST REPORT
We're sorry. Actually, no we're not.
Holland boasts it's the population center of Texas, but with only 1,075 people scattered across 1.8 square miles, it's more like the geographic center of absolutely nothing. Even their own highway speeds past this place at 70 mph because there's literally nothing to slow down for.
For 51 years, Holland has thrown a festival celebrating corn like it's the second coming of Christ. They have corn seed spitting contests and chicken flying competitions because apparently when your biggest achievement is growing vegetables, you need to milk it for all it's worth.
With 30% of the population below the poverty line and a median household income of $26,500, Holland residents can't afford to leave their corn paradise. The per capita income of $11,360 means they're literally living off kernels and dreams.
Holland peaked in 1890 with 600 people, four churches, and a newspaper called 'The Guard.' Now they're down to 1,075 residents guarding absolutely nothing except the dying tradition of celebrating vegetables in public. Even the Czech immigrants from 1910 are probably rolling in their graves.
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