Roasted Jun 3, 202679 views79 pts
We're sorry. Actually, no we're not.
Perkiomenville is a town whose residents' main hobby is apparently watching the Perkiomen Creek flow by. The most exciting thing that's happened here in living memory was when someone repainted the firehouse. Even the dog park scene is quiet - because that's about as lively as this place gets.
This place is so indecisive it can't even decide which township it belongs to - it literally straddles two different ones. They're not even a real town, just a postal delivery area that someone slapped a name on. When your biggest claim to fame is being 'unincorporated,' you know you've hit rock bottom.
Where aging suburbanites come to cosplay as rural folk while still being close enough to King of Prussia for their Whole Foods runs. The local Nextdoor is full of people reading books about Black Swan theory and hosting 'boutique-style garage sales' because God forbid they just call it a garage sale.
Everyone raves about the 'lush woods and abundant wildlife' but forgets to mention there's literally nothing else to do. Your entertainment options are staring at the creek, visiting a dog park, or driving to the next town over for anything resembling a restaurant. The most exotic cuisine is whatever Caribbean place survived long enough to get a Yelp review.
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