Roasted Jun 1, 202674 views74 pts
We're sorry. Actually, no we're not.
Sure, you're the 'Gateway to the Smokies,' but let's be honest—you're more like the rest stop people reluctantly make before the real destination. Your biggest claim to fame is being a short drive away from something actually interesting. Even your own residents flee to Knoxville for dinner and entertainment.
Nothing says 'thriving economy' like a dying mall where the highlight is a Chick-fil-A. Your shopping center is so depressing, you'd think the 'for lease' signs were the main attraction. Even the strip mall next door feels bougie in this wasteland.
Your football team has won more state titles than your town has interesting restaurants. The entire city shuts down for high school games because there's literally nothing else happening. Peak entertainment is watching teenagers play sports while you pretend this is the pinnacle of cultural achievement.
While most places moved past certain historical debates, you're still having Confederate flag controversies at your high school like it's 1965. Nothing screams 'progressive gateway city' like your school hallways turning into a battleground over a rebel flag. Very welcoming vibes, Maryville.
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