OFFICIAL ROAST REPORT
We're sorry. Actually, no we're not.
Listen, we get it - you saw the sign and had to pull over for the giggle-worthy Instagram post. But joke's on you because now you're trapped in a town where the most exciting thing is watching Amish women can jellies at Kitchen Kettle Village while you pretend molasses-based dessert isn't just fancy tree syrup.
This place is so small that Barry's Car Barn showcasing American muscle cars from the '50s-'70s counts as both the main tourist attraction AND the traffic jam. You've got a better chance of finding nightlife in an actual Amish barn than discovering anything open past 8 PM on Old Philadelphia Pike.
Your culinary adventure peaks at deciding whether to hit Miller's traditional buffet or Stoltzfus Meats for that authentic PA Dutch experience. Pro tip: when the highlight of your food scene is arguing over which restaurant serves the stickiest shoofly pie, you've officially entered flavor purgatory with a side of buttered noodles.
Intercourse sits perfectly positioned between Bird-in-Hand and Paradise - which sounds poetic until you realize you're basically stuck in the Bermuda Triangle of Pennsylvania Dutch tourism. The biggest geographical feature is a covered bridge that Instagram influencers fight over for the perfect "rustic charm" photo op.
HOW ACCURATE IS THIS ROAST?
Be the first to judge
SEND THIS TO SOMEONE FROM INTERCOURSE
Every share moves Intercourse, Pennsylvania up the leaderboard
STAY IN THE LOOP
Get the best roasts delivered, and know when Intercourse, Pennsylvania gets hit again.
🏆 WANT TO WIN PRIZES? JOIN THE CONTEST →All roasts are fictional and affectionate. Probably.