Roasted Mar 23, 2026109 views109 pts
We're sorry. Actually, no we're not.
Hermitage's biggest claim to fame is that Andrew Jackson died at his plantation here in 1845, and the place has been coasting on that corpse ever since. Now it's just another sprawling Nashville suburb squeezing every drop of relevance from a dead president's mansion while drowning in chain restaurants and traffic lights that last longer than Jackson's presidency.
Residents complain about sitting in their cars for half an hour counting traffic at a single intersection. Old Hickory Boulevard and Lebanon Pike have more congestion than a Civil War battlefield, except at least those ended eventually.
The culinary highlight is whichever strip-mall chain you pick this week, because apparently even Hermitage residents got tired of the last one and whatever passes for local cuisine. When your most adventurous food option is a drive-thru with a new logo, you know you're living in suburban purgatory.
Hermitage Golf Course is a public course where nothing says premium golf like a Scottish-style layout in the middle of Nashville sprawl. It's a decent public course, which is like being the tallest building in a strip mall parking lot.
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