Charleston, South Carolina

Roasted Apr 1, 2026104 views104 pts

We're sorry. Actually, no we're not.

HISTORY

Holy city halo syndrome: church steeples as status symbols

Charleston calls itself the 'Holy City' with so many church steeples it looks like a pincushion from space. The nickname comes from the city's long history of religious tolerance, which drew Huguenots, Jews, Baptists, and every other flavor of the faithful, and which Charlestonians have been smugly congratulating themselves about for roughly 300 years. Nothing says holy like being so proud of your own righteousness that you put it on the souvenir koozies.

VIBES

Carriage rides: making downtown traffic even worse since forever

Only in Charleston would residents tolerate horses clip-clopping down busy streets, blocking traffic while tourists live out their Gone with the Wind fantasies. These same tourists would lose their minds if someone brought a horse to their neighborhood Starbucks. But hey, nothing says 'authentic Southern experience' like getting stuck behind Buttercup doing 3 mph on King Street.

FOOD

Shrimp and grits: the dish that conquered america by accident

Charleston loves bragging about shrimp and grits, the humble Lowcountry fishermen's breakfast. Now every chain restaurant from Atlanta to Alaska serves their 'authentic Charleston-style' version with enough cream and cheese to feed a small plantation. You turned poverty food into a $30 entrée — capitalism at its finest, y'all.

PEOPLE

Transplant takeover: when outsiders start outnumbering the sweet tea

Charleston has become so desirable that newcomers keep pouring in, and plenty of them arrive without that famous Southern drawl. So the city that prides itself on authentic Southern charm now has a steady stream of people who moved there for the Instagram opportunities. At least the newcomers are keeping the horse carriage industry profitable.