Roasted Mar 9, 2026103 views2 shares105 pts
We're sorry. Actually, no we're not.
Locals will tell you, with a straight face, that they're 'planning their escape' after ten years. Even the locals know this place peaked at 'up and coming' and crash landed at 'please don't move here unless it's all you can afford.'
Your dining scene is literally fast food joints and strip-mall takeout windows. The culinary highlight is arguing whether the Italian place on Sherman Way or the Jack in the Box represents fine dining.
You went from building actual rockets at Rocketdyne to a legacy of toxic contamination from the lab up in the hills. That's quite the career pivot from 'reaching for the stars' to 'testing your groundwater.'
Even lifelong residents admit when they tell people they're from Canoga Park, everyone asks 'where is that?' You're so forgettable that West Hills got its own neighborhood identity in the 1980s and nobody could even be bothered to fight about it.
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