OFFICIAL ROAST REPORT
We're sorry. Actually, no we're not.
The highway has been closed more than 55 times by landslides, with massive slides blocking traffic for over a year at a time. Meanwhile, a 300-square-foot studio costs $6,700 per month. At least the road closures give you time to save up for that overpriced gas station burrito.
The Coast Property Owners Association director calls it "a 'scenic highway' with piles of shit up and down the highway." With only 16 public restrooms for almost 5 million annual visitors, people resort to defecating in bushes near Bixby Bridge. Nothing says "Instagram-worthy" like stepping around human waste for that perfect sunset shot.
Big Sur has attracted freethinking artists, poets, and musicians since the 1960s Bohemian movement. But with peak season hotel rates averaging $1,730 and fewer than 300 hotel rooms on the entire 90-mile coast, only wealthy visitors can afford the "back to the earth" experience. Nothing says counterculture rebellion like dropping $500 a night to rough it in luxury.
Big Sur Bakery charges $8.50 for an almond croissant that visitors describe as "orgasmic" and "the most expensive pastry I've ever bought." Everything south of Santa Cruz is "super expensive," forcing smart travelers to stock up at Trader Joe's beforehand. Even the artisanal bread costs more than most people's car payments.
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