Roasted 2d ago10 views10 pts
We're sorry. Actually, no we're not.
Big Bear Lake is a man-made reservoir, a dam built in 1884 to water orange groves in Redlands, so your whole identity is a plumbing solution with a pine-tree filter on it. Benjamin Wilson named the valley after the grizzlies he found there, and the town responded by wiping out every last grizzly and then naming everything after them anyway. Congratulations on being the world's most scenic irrigation tank.
The Village is where LA weekenders come to experience 'rustic mountain living' by buying fudge and a sweatshirt with a cartoon bear on it. You drove 100 miles to escape the city and ended up in a pedestrian shopping district full of taffy shops and parking disputes. The wilderness is real, but it's mostly a backdrop for selfies.
Jackie and Shadow have a livestreamed nest, fans on every continent, and more public goodwill than anyone who has ever held office in San Bernardino County. The whole town waits by the webcam for eggs like it's a royal pregnancy. Meanwhile the humans can't get a dinner reservation in February.
Grizzly Manor Cafe serves plates the size of hubcaps with names that sound like a warning label, so at least the restaurant is honest with you. The town treats every pancake like a Michelin-starred event. The pinnacle of alpine dining is a gigantic pile of eggs and a two-hour wait with the rest of Riverside.
Be the first to judge
Every share moves Big Bear Lake, California up the leaderboard
Put Big Bear Lake in the ring with a rival. Four rounds, one survivor.
Or settle it with a neighbor:
The best roasts every Friday, delivered with mild apologies. Plus a heads-up when Big Bear Lake, California gets hit again.
Want to win prizes? Join the contest →All roasts are fictional and affectionate. Probably.