Roasted Jun 3, 202695 views95 pts
We're sorry. Actually, no we're not.
New Windsor proudly claims Abstract Expressionist painter Clyfford Still lived here, and his work now sells for tens of millions of dollars. Meanwhile, the town has about 1,400 residents who apparently peaked culturally the day the paint dried. You've got a famous artist's old address and a population that treats it like a normal Tuesday.
Originally called Sulphur Springs for its mineral waters, the town later traded that name for New Windsor. Now it's just another bedroom community where residents drive to actual jobs somewhere else. They traded healing springs for a daily commute to anywhere that matters.
The New Windsor Heritage Museum preserves the town's history, staffed by volunteers. They host an annual Heritage Days festival to celebrate it. Nothing says 'we've given up on the future' like a town whose big event is literally called Heritage Days, run by unpaid enthusiasts.
New Windsor boasts a population where nearly everyone is a U.S. citizen and almost everyone owns their home. Congratulations, you've created the most homogeneous suburb in the county, where everyone speaks English and nobody has anything interesting to say.
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