OFFICIAL ROAST REPORT
We're sorry. Actually, no we're not.
Imagine being so bad at your job that your coworkers accidentally survey the same 600 acres twice, and you decide to commemorate this legendary failure by naming your entire town after it. The residents call themselves 'Accidentals' because even their identity is based on someone else's mistake.
With 338 people spread across half a square mile, Accident has the population density of a suburban cul-de-sac but calls itself a 'town.' The big annual events are a yard sale and a concert in the park - because when you live in a place smaller than most shopping malls, a garage sale counts as economic development.
The crown jewel of Accident's tourism is the Drane House, a log cabin that was literally abandoned for decades until 1987. They spent more money reconstructing this six-room frontier shack than most towns spend on actual infrastructure, then charge people to look at period furniture that may or may not have belonged to people nobody remembers.
Nothing says 'thriving local economy' quite like your town's biggest draws being Firefly Farms' fancy goat cheese and a CBD dispensary. When your restaurant scene peaks at Annie's Kitchen and Rolling Pin Bakery, you know you've achieved that special level of rural sophistication where homemade donuts count as fine dining.
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