Roasted Mar 9, 2026154 views154 pts
We're sorry. Actually, no we're not.
Imagine being so bad at your job that two surveyors working independently for different clients both survey the same 600 acres in 1751, and nobody notices until the paperwork collides. Rather than apologize, everyone agrees to name the tract 'The Accident,' and the town later adopts it. Even the town's identity is based on somebody else's mistake.
With roughly 300 people packed into a patch of Garrett County smaller than most shopping malls' parking lots, Accident has the population density of a suburban cul-de-sac but calls itself a 'town.' The big annual events are a yard sale and a concert in the park, because when your whole community fits in a church basement, a garage sale counts as economic development.
The crown jewel of Accident's tourism is the Drane House, a log house built around 1798 and lovingly restored by the historical society, so naturally it's treated like Versailles with bark on. They spent more money restoring this frontier house than most towns spend on actual infrastructure, then charge people to look at period furniture that belonged to people nobody remembers.
Nothing says 'thriving local economy' quite like your town's biggest food draw being Firefly Farms' fancy goat cheese. In a place this small, 'artisan' just means the goats know the cheesemaker by name, and you can drive past the entire restaurant scene before your coffee gets cold. Rural sophistication means homemade donuts count as fine dining.
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