Roasted 2h ago2 views2 pts
We're sorry. Actually, no we're not.
Lawrence calls itself a progressive, creative haven, which is adorable for a town whose big night out is a walkable main street and a Cheddar ale soup. It's the kind of place where everyone has strong political opinions and a Subaru to match. You're the Berkeley of the Midwest the way a kiddie pool is the Pacific of the Plains.
The town was founded as an abolitionist project, got sacked in 1856, then burned by Quantrill in 1863, and has been dining out on Bleeding Kansas ever since. Other towns have a founding story, and Lawrence has a permanent chip on its shoulder with a historical marker. You even named a bar John Brown's Underground, because nothing says nightlife like a radical abolitionist's brand identity.
Nothing says humble Kansas like calling your arena the loudest in college basketball and then building a shrine to the guy who invented the sport, complete with the original typed rules. The whole town links arms for the alma mater and chants "Rock Chalk Jayhawk" about a mythical bird named after Free-State guerrillas. And somehow you put a statue outside the arena of a foghorn-voiced coach named Phog, which tells you everything.
Lawrence's idea of culinary glory is a brewery with a patio and a Cheddar ale soup, which is a bit like being the tallest building in Topeka. Your fanciest night out is a white-tablecloth dinner on Mass Street, where the Midwest proudly serves you the one thing it can't grow, anything fresh from an ocean. Meanwhile half the town is at The Wheel for cheap drinks and pizza, which is the real Lawrence fine dining.
Be the first to judge
Every share moves Lawrence, Kansas up the leaderboard
Put Lawrence in the ring with a rival. Four rounds, one survivor.
Or settle it with a neighbor:
The best roasts every Friday, delivered with mild apologies. Plus a heads-up when Lawrence, Kansas gets hit again.
Want to win prizes? Join the contest →All roasts are fictional and affectionate. Probably.