Roasted Apr 24, 202678 views78 pts
We're sorry. Actually, no we're not.
Juneau is so remote that even corporate fast food looked at Alaska's capital and said 'nah, we're good' on most of the menu. The chains that do show up know they're one bad barge delivery away from serving nothing. Meanwhile, Subway sits there like nothing says governmental power like a sad turkey sandwich.
Imagine being so isolated that your own state keeps trying to move the capital away from you. Juneau has no roads connecting it to the rest of Alaska, so everything arrives by barge, plane, or ferry. Alaskans voted to move the capital to Willow in 1974 and then never funded it, which is the most Alaskan way possible to dump a city and still keep it.
Nothing screams 'cultural refinement' like starting your morning with Rudolph's cousin on a plate. Local restaurants proudly serve reindeer sausage like it's some gourmet delicacy instead of admitting they've run out of normal breakfast meat. Even their 'fancy' food scene revolves around what they can catch or shoot.
When your city gets so depressing that residents need a laugh just to keep from crying, you might have a weather problem. Juneau racks up well over 200 days a year of rain and snow, and the sun is mostly a rumor. Welcome to America's 'scenic' capital, where the view is fog and the hobby is staying dry.
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