THE ROAST BLOG
EVERY TOWN HAS A STORY
In-depth roasts and real talk about every town we've destroyed.
Welcome to Mamou, Guinea's self-proclaimed "Gateway to Fouta Djallon" – a title that's about as impressive as calling yourself the doorma...
Welcome to Charlotte, North Carolina—a city so confused about its identity it built a $160 million NASCAR Hall of Fame right downtown and...
The Town That Lost Its Fizz (But Kept Its Charm)
When most people think of presidential tourism, they picture Mount Vernon's stately elegance or Monticello's architectural genius. Then t...
Welcome to Spartanburg, the city that proves you don't need to aim high to hit your target. This "Sparkle City" (we'll get to that tragic...
If you've ever wondered what happens when a chemical company plays God with urban planning, may I present Old Hickory, Tennessee—a neighb...
Welcome to Beaverton, Oregon—the city literally named after beaver dams and stagnant water. With 97,494 residents as of the 2020 census, ...
Welcome to Kingsport, Tennessee—a city with a melody in its name and a history etched in stone and steel, where the first Pal's opened in...
Picture this: a town that genuinely threw a parade for beans. Not coffee beans. Not jelly beans. Soybeans. Welcome to Martin, Tennessee, ...
A Town Built on Spectacular Failures (And One Famous Neighbor)
Welcome to Sparta, New Jersey – where the only thing more artificial than the lake is the Swiss-German architecture surrounding it. This ...
Welcome to Garfield, New Jersey – where dreams go to pay slightly less rent while still pretending they live "near the city." Nestled in ...
Welcome to Myrtle Beach, South Carolina—"popularly known as the Grand Strand" and spanning "60 miles along the northeast coast" where you...
The "Scenic City" That Made Its Fortune Celebrating Car Problems
The Whaling Capital That Peaked 150 Years Ago
When a town literally named itself after agricultural leftovers and somehow still manages to exist in 2026, you know you've stumbled onto...
Welcome to Kansas City, Missouri — the 520,000-person metropolis that's spent nearly a century playing catch-up to its own golden era. Th...
The Holy Grail of Suburban Overachievement
Welcome to Chicago, Illinois — the third-most populous city in the United States with a population of 2.7 million — where we've mastered ...
If you've ever wondered what would happen if a bunch of PhD students got high on sustainable living principles and decided to build their...
Big Sur, California—75 miles of the Big Sur coastline as one of the most landslide-prone areas in the western United States—is like that ...
Welcome to Petoskey, Michigan, the charming lakeside town on Little Traverse Bay that's long been a resort area known for its fresh air, ...