Norfolk, Virginia: Where the Navy Parks Its Ships and Everyone Else Parks Their Expectations

So you're thinking about visiting Norfolk, Virginia. Maybe you're a sailor with orders. Maybe you got lost looking for Norwich, England. (Norfolk is also a county in East Anglia, so you wouldn't be the first.) Either way, welcome to the 757, a city that has more going on than its critics admit and fewer excuses than its fans would like.

The Navy Town That Runs the Navy

Let's start with the flex, because Norfolk has a real one. Naval Station Norfolk is the world's largest naval station, with 75 ships alongside 14 piers, and 134 aircraft and 11 aircraft hangars at the adjacently operated Chambers Field. It's also busy. Air Operations conducts over 100,000 flight operations each year, an average of 275 flights per day. That's more punctual than most airlines.

The base sprawls across about 4,300 acres of Hampton Roads real estate in a peninsula known as Sewells Point. It's also where history got weird: the base sits near the site of the historic Civil War naval battle between the USS Monitor and CSS Virginia. Two ironclads pounded each other to a draw, which is also how most Norfolk traffic debates end.

Our roasters at RoastMyTown said the city looks like it lost a war while hosting the planet's biggest fleet. That's harsh, and the cracks in the sidewalks in some neighborhoods will give them a little ammunition. But the city is not sitting still. Barraud Park just had a grand reopening after a revitalization and renovation, and this summer Norfolk hosted Sail250 Virginia, Juneteenth Norfolk, and the 50th Annual Norfolk Harborfest across five days on the Downtown Norfolk Waterfront. A city that's totally given up doesn't throw a party like that.

Crab Pickin', Ice Cream Cones, and Other Delicious Labor

Yes, picking a blue crab is basically a three-hour negotiation with a crustacean that holds all the leverage. Locals call this "dinner." The reward is a pile of sweet meat, a sore thumb, and a deep sense of accomplishment that borders on spiritual.

Then there's Doumar's, the drive-in that claims it invented the ice cream cone at the 1904 St. Louis World's Fair. The roast says they "forgot to invent anything else." Respectfully, when you've invented the thing that holds all other ice cream, you're allowed to coast. That's like asking the wheel guy what he's done lately.

The city is also putting real effort into its food scene beyond the shellfish. Norfolk's Bon Appetit program helps local food businesses grow. And if you want your dinner with a side of zydeco, the 36th Annual Bayou Bon Vivant Cajun Music & Food Festival proves Norfolk will happily borrow Louisiana's best ideas.

Mermaids, Museums, and the Fiberglass Renaissance

Is a city full of decorated mermaid statues a thriving arts scene? The roasters say no. We say it's a scavenger hunt with better photo ops. The mermaids are a fun, slightly ridiculous way to wander downtown, and Norfolk wears its nautical kitsch with total confidence.

But there's real culture behind the fish-ladies. Norfolk Festevents has spent more than 40 years bringing waterfront festivals and events to the community, from the Norfolk Waterfront Jazz Festival to a Latino music and food festival now in its 25th year. Meanwhile, the Norfolk Botanical Garden is adding to its list of "original gardeners," and the Battleship Wisconsin recently got some maintenance work done. That's the most exciting thing a boat that old has done since its last birthday.

The Middle Child of Hampton Roads (Who Is Doing Fine, Thanks)

Geography is the real plot twist. Hampton Roads generally includes the cities of Norfolk, Virginia Beach, Chesapeake, Portsmouth, Suffolk, Hampton and Newport News, and yes, Virginia Beach has the boardwalk and Williamsburg has the powdered wigs. But Norfolk is no wallflower. Norfolk is the third most populous city in Virginia, with approximately 235,000 residents and more than 100 diverse neighborhoods. It also is home to Virginia's first and only light rail system. The forgotten sibling, it turns out, has the best résumé at the table.

The city's history goes deep, too. Norfolk was established as a town in 1682, as a borough in 1736 and incorporated as a city in 1845. It's also the cultural, educational, business, and medical center of Hampton Roads, which is a lot of hats for one middle child.

Just budget extra time for the bridge-tunnels. VDOT has announced it will close one direction of the Hampton Roads Bridge-Tunnel at a time, so pack snacks, patience, and maybe a small boat.

The Verdict

Norfolk isn't perfect. Some blocks need love, the tunnels test your faith, and the crab is a lot of work for a little reward. But it's a real city with real history, a real waterfront, and a Navy base so big it has its own weather system of salutes. Come for the ships, stay for the ice cream cone, and chase down at least one mermaid.

Think we were too nice? See the full roast on RoastMyTown.com.