Mars, Pennsylvania: The Red Planet's Chillier, Apple-Scented Cousin

Forget SpaceX. If you want to visit Mars without a seven-month transit window or a life-support budget, point your Subaru north on Route 228. Mars, Pennsylvania has a flying saucer, a festival with 200-some vendors, and, last I checked, breathable air.

How a Pennsylvania Town Ended Up Named After a Planet (Nobody Knows)

The origin story is delightfully muddled. Samuel Parks built a home and a water-powered gristmill along Breakneck Creek, then put a post office in his home with help from his friend Samuel Marshall. It was called Overbrook. Then the railroad showed up and ruined it. The community was renamed Mars because the railroad already had a stop called "Overbrook."

As for why Mars, the town honestly doesn't know. Some say Parks's wife enjoyed astronomy, while others believe it was shortened from Samuel Marshall's name. Either way, Mars was incorporated as a borough in 1895. One town, two competing theories, zero paperwork. Very Pennsylvania.

The borough's own historical write-up is refreshingly honest about its place in the cosmos. Viewed from afar, Mars is scarcely discernible. It doesn't appear on maps of the world or the United States, just as a small dot on Pennsylvania highway maps. Thanks for the vote of confidence, Mayor.

It has range, though. Mars has been a farming community, a railroad town, an oil boomtown, a shopping business center, and a rural-suburban community. That's more career pivots than your college roommate.

And it left a mark on the real Navy. The USS Mars (AFS-1) was a real Navy ship, and the borough keeps a memorial to it in the downtown park. A tiny town in Butler County got a warship's memorial. Your hometown got a Sheetz.

Applefest: Where Thousands of People Cram Into a Town Smaller Than Your Costco Parking Lot

Mars's big moment is Applefest, held the first Saturday of October. It dates to the early 1980s, when the owners of Treesdale Farms had more apples than they could sell and asked the Mars Chamber of Commerce to help unload them. That's the whole origin: a surplus-fruit emergency that became a decades-long tradition.

It has grown a lot. The festival fills up with vendors every year. The crowds scale accordingly. Police estimates put attendance at many times the borough's population, all hunting for kettle corn on two streets. Organizers promise Amish doughnuts, homemade apple dumplings, and classic fair food. Bring stretchy pants and patience.

The star attraction is the saucer. The flying saucer sculpture sits at 100 Pittsburgh Street, and it's a must-stop for photos. It sits in Mars Towne Square, which makes it the only attraction in Butler County with better hours than the DMV. The town even hosts a mascot named Orby, the local out-of-this-world mascot who strolls Grand Avenue.

The cosmic branding is real enough that NASA itself has come to Mars, Pennsylvania to celebrate Mars exploration. The space agency has visited a town with a plywood-and-fiberglass UFO. Respect.

The Fightin' Planets, Smiley Cookies, and the Great Eat'n Park Address Scandal

Let's talk food, because Mars is under a square mile and you can cross it before your coffee cools. The Eat'n Park people associate with Mars is out on Route 19 and technically in Cranberry. The locals have made peace with this. For in-town eating, bowl at Mars Lanes, or grab a book at the Mars Area Public Library. That's a complete small-town Saturday: pancakes, strikes, and overdue fines.

The school teams are the Fightin' Planets, with colors of blue and gold. The district covers about 46 square miles. So the "town" is under a square mile, but the school district is 46. The planet is tiny and the gravitational pull is enormous.

Halfway to Somewhere: Mars vs. the Cranberry Sprawl

Geography is Mars's destiny. It's about 12 miles southwest of Butler. Perfectly in the middle, like the guy at the party who agrees with everyone.

Its neighbor, meanwhile, has been busy. The borough is completely surrounded by Adams Township, and the township's population has grown enormously in recent decades. That's a huge increase while Mars sat in its valley holding a saucer. Mars, absorbed by its own surroundings. A very 1950s sci-fi plot.

For now, the downtown still has its charm. The restored Mars Train Station, supported by the Mars Area History & Landmark Society, acts as a small museum nodding to the town's railroad past. The community calendar is cozy: a Fourth of July parade and fireworks, plus "Light Up Mars" and other holiday activities.

So should you visit? Absolutely. Come in October, park at the overflow lot (a shuttle runs from Vogel's Disposal Parking Lot on Brickyard Road), eat an apple dumpling, and take a saucer selfie. Tell your friends you went to Mars. Technically, you're not lying.

Think we were too nice? See the full roast on RoastMyTown.com.