Roasted Apr 13, 2026203 views1 share204 pts
We're sorry. Actually, no we're not.
Berliners perfected the art of being fashionably late with their famous 'Berliner Schnauze' - the kind of straight-talking rudeness that says 'I'll show up when I feel like it.' While the rest of Germany obsesses over punctuality, Berliners treat schedules like suggestions and treat efficiency like a foreign concept. They built an airport so incompetent it became an international joke - nine years late with four postponed openings.
Berlin Brandenburg Airport is the most embarrassing infrastructure project Germany has ever seen, and the whole country knows it. They managed to turn a roughly €2 billion project into a €7 billion disaster that took 14 years to build instead of 5. The brilliant engineers installed thousands of doors with wrong labels and a smoke extraction system that was flawed from the design stage. Even when it finally opened, it was already too small for the crowds it was built to handle.
Berliners think they're 'punk as fuck' but it's mostly middle-aged checkout ladies with bright red hair and postmen wearing Dr Martens with their uniforms. The city's legendary underground culture is being gentrified faster than you can say 'techno club,' with investors swooping in to turn squats into expensive lofts. Nothing says counterculture like complaining about tourists while charging them €15 for a beer in Kreuzberg.
You can still get currywurst on practically every corner in Berlin, and the locals will happily sneer at the famous spots like Konnopke and Curry 36 because they'd never travel for a 'curry' - they just go to whatever local imbiss is nearby, even if it's crap. Berlin convinced the world that putting ketchup and curry powder on a sausage counts as cuisine, then acts offended when people actually show up to try it.
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