Roasted Apr 21, 2026107 views107 pts
We're sorry. Actually, no we're not.
Your town's biggest flex is having Minnesota's only remaining covered bridge, which is basically like being the tallest kid in third grade. You've built your entire identity around a wooden structure from 1869, because even your main attraction has been standing around doing nothing for over 150 years and you still call it a career.
You've got more boutiques per capita than residents with actual disposable income, selling 'curated collections' to the same rotating cast of church ladies. Your downtown reads like a vision board made by someone who watched too much HGTV during the pandemic.
The locals rave about the burgers being 'the best in town' — which is like being the smartest person at a family reunion where everyone dropped out of high school. When your pie is so filling you need to take it to go, that's not portion control, that's a cry for help disguised as comfort food.
Your idea of must-see attractions includes wandering around a cornfield, because nothing says 'thriving cultural scene' like getting lost in industrial agriculture. Even your tourist board had to pad the list with a covered bridge you can't even drive across.
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