Hattiesburg vs. Laurel
Hub City vs. HGTV City: The Pine Belt Smackdown
Twenty-ish miles of I-59 separate Hattiesburg, the college town that's a crossroads, from Laurel, the timber town that got a TV makeover. One brags about being the hub of everything, the other about being on HGTV.
In this corner
Hattiesburg
3
And in this corner
Laurel
1
- Round 1CULTURE
HattiesburgSurvives
Hattiesburg calls itself a 'foodie destination' with 200 restaurants and a Schitt's Creek motel room for selfies, which is the most Hub City way to say 'we have a Rosebud Motel photo op.' The 'Birthplace of Rock n Roll' mural outside a record store is a bold claim that Memphis hasn't dignified with a response.
Laurel
Laurel's whole personality is a home-renovation show, and the town's biggest cultural event is a store selling candles and 'American-made items' owned by the TV couple. Nothing says 'authentic' like a downtown where half the license plates are from fans of Erin Napier's paintbrush.
Hattiesburg has a zoo, a theater and a festival season; Laurel has a gift shop with a celebrity landlord.
- Round 2HISTORY
HattiesburgSurvives
Hattiesburg's nickname came from a 1912 newspaper contest, which means the town's brand was crowdsourced by people who looked at train tracks and said 'hub.' It's named after founder William Hardy's wife Hattie, so at least somebody got a town out of marriage.
Laurel
Laurel was the 'yellow pine capital of the world,' then the lumber ran out and downtown went so dead that a councilman recalled you couldn't see a car pass by. It took a cable TV show to resurrect it, which is the small-town equivalent of being saved by a stranger doing CPR on camera.
Both towns were built by timber, but only one needed HGTV to get its pulse back.
- Round 3SPORTS
HattiesburgSurvives
Hattiesburg is home to Southern Miss, whose famous alumni include Brett Favre, and whose fans still mention Brett Favre every time the Golden Eagles lose. 'Hub City' is also what you call a town whose best athletes keep leaving for Green Bay.
Laurel
Laurel's sports identity is the Golden Tornadoes and the quiet pride of watching Hattiesburg's college crowds from a distance. The real competitive event is the Magnolia State Bank Chili Cook-off, which is the only Laurel contest where the grease is on purpose.
A Division I program with Favre's jersey beats a chili cook-off, even a losing Division I program.
- Round 4VIBES
Hattiesburg
Hattiesburg's pitch is that it's a great place to stretch your legs on the way to New Orleans or the coast, which is a tourism slogan that doubles as an insult. It's the only city whose main selling point is how fast you can leave it.
LaurelSurvives
Laurel is 'The City Beautiful,' with oak-lined streets, brick sidewalks and Airbnbs rated 4.99 stars, where a porch swing is a lifestyle and the chaos level is a quiet Sunday afternoon. It's so charming it's almost suspicious, like a Hallmark movie that knows where you live.
Laurel's aesthetic is undeniable, and Hattiesburg basically admitted it's a rest stop.
The verdict
Hattiesburg wins, 3–1.
Hattiesburg takes it: a real college town with a zoo and a Favre. Laurel, enjoy your charming downtown, but we all know Chip and Joanna would've had better ratings.
Who really won?
The judge has spoken. Now you do.
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