Roasted May 16, 202665 views65 pts
We're sorry. Actually, no we're not.
Your town's biggest claim to fame is making it onto 'unusual place names' lists because apparently nobody could think of anything less awkward to name a community. The fact that you're proud of lakes that 'resemble an eagle with outstretched wings when viewed from above' suggests your tourism board is really reaching for material.
Nothing says 'thriving cultural scene' like a water ski show that's been doing the same tricks since the Nixon administration. Your community's idea of peak entertainment is watching the Badwater Ski-Ters perform 'rain or shine' on Wednesday and Sunday nights, because apparently there's literally nothing else to do in a town where more than half the houses sit vacant.
Spread Eagle can't even be bothered to incorporate as a real town - you're just an 'unincorporated community' living in someone else's shadow. With nothing resembling a city for miles and a job market so thin it makes the local lakes look crowded, you've perfected the art of existing without really mattering.
With a 55.5% housing vacancy rate and most of those homes being seasonal cottages, Spread Eagle transforms from 'barely there' to 'completely empty' depending on the season. Your year-round residents are so outnumbered by part-time vacationers that even the retirees who moved there for peace and quiet probably feel crowded.
Be the first to judge
Every share moves Spread Eagle, Wisconsin up the leaderboard
Put Spread Eagle in the ring with a rival. Four rounds, one survivor.
Or settle it with a neighbor:
The best roasts every Friday, delivered with mild apologies. Plus a heads-up when Spread Eagle, Wisconsin gets hit again.
Want to win prizes? Join the contest →All roasts are fictional and affectionate. Probably.