Roasted 1w ago12 views12 pts
We're sorry. Actually, no we're not.
Your big attraction is a series of cascades dropping about 100 feet over pink quartzite, and you've built a downtown, a farmers market, and a tourism campaign around it. It's the Big Sioux River doing what rivers do, and you act like it's Niagara with a lanyard. Never change, but maybe let the river have a day off.
You're the biggest city in a state with fewer people than the Minneapolis metro area, and your whole state still treats the Missouri River like the Berlin Wall between East River and West River. You'll fight anyone who trashes Sioux Falls, then spend twenty minutes roasting them for their hometown. The confidence is magnificent. The population is about 200,000.
Your local chili joint's big move is Cincinnati-style chili over spaghetti, in a city 800 miles from Cincinnati. Meanwhile the fine-dining flex is the salad bar at Minerva's, which is a Golden Corral with a wine list. And yes, the Downtown Burger Battle exists, because when you have one waterfall, you need a second hobby.
In the 1800s, Sioux Falls was the 'Divorce Colony,' where unhappy couples came to get out of marriages fast, and the town built hotels and restaurants to cash in on it. So your first big industry was other people's bad decisions, and meatpacking came along later to keep the theme going. Honestly, that's the most Midwestern business plan ever: hospitality, heartbreak, and a very polite smell of the stockyards.
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