Roasted Apr 8, 2026275 views1 share276 pts
We're sorry. Actually, no we're not.
This is the city that named dishes 'toad in the hole' and 'spotted dick' and genuinely believed the world would respect their culinary contributions. Meanwhile, they're charging £420 for sushi because apparently putting fish on rice requires Oxford tuition fees.
Londoners literally judge each other based on which side of a muddy river they live on, as if crossing the Thames requires a passport and medical clearance. North London thinks it's sophisticated while South London pretends it's 'authentic' - both are just expensive postcodes with delusions.
These are people who form orderly lines at bus stops like they're waiting for the Queen's funeral. They've turned standing in a row into a cultural identity and somehow convinced the world this makes them civilized rather than just massively repressed.
London has restaurants charging £150+ per meal - because nothing says 'world-class dining' like pricing out your own residents. They've mastered making food expensive without making it actually taste like anything beyond bland pretension.
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