Roasted May 21, 202681 views81 pts
We're sorry. Actually, no we're not.
Your locals get paid to 'dress the room' at strip clubs, filling gaps to draw in male tourists. Sure everyone works hospitality, but nothing says sophisticated city culture like being professional eye candy for drunk accountants from Ohio.
Your team is a perennial disappointment while the county is still paying off $750 million in hotel-tax bonds for this trash football team's palace. The franchise keeps embarrassing itself on national television, week after week. At least when you flush money down the toilet, it disappears quickly.
Your most famous mayor bragged about his city's 'deep superficiality,' because in this town the show matters more than the substance. Mobsters bankrolled the casinos that made you famous, and you're still déclassé and embarrassing from the start. Imagine being so culturally bankrupt you have to steal everyone else's landmarks and make them tackier.
Your basketball team just got demolished at home, never looking competitive as the coach admitted the team was terrible. The arena was a sea of empty red chairs in a building that once rocked with excitement, and UNLV made the NCAA tournament once in a decade, then bowed out in the first round. Even the halftime entertainment was more inspiring than your team.
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