Roasted 1w ago13 views13 pts
We're sorry. Actually, no we're not.
Huntsville's origin story is the US government importing German rocket engineers after WWII, and the city has been wearing that like a Chamber of Commerce lanyard ever since. You can't get five minutes into a conversation without hearing about the Saturn V, and locals still treat the Redstone Arsenal like a hobby you picked up, not the reason a huge chunk of you can afford the boat.
The Space & Rocket Center unveiled new mascots and all of Alabama, including Birmingham, collectively screamed 'nightmare fuel.' In the Space & Rocket Center, no one can hear you scream, and apparently that includes the focus group. You put people on the moon and still can't design a cartoon astronaut without traumatizing a toddler.
While Texas has brisket and Memphis has ribs, Huntsville's big contribution to barbecue is a mayo-and-vinegar sauce invented in Decatur, which you didn't even bother to invent yourselves. Then you put it on every menu in town like that makes it less of a warm-mayo situation. Congratulations on your culinary legacy: a condiment you borrowed from the town next door.
Half the businesses in town have 'rocket' in the name, because nothing says aerospace innovation like a rocket-themed car wash. Everyone here is a 'rocket scientist,' which mostly means they work in a beige office park off Research Park Boulevard and have strong opinions about Space Camp, the only place in America where 12-year-olds peak at the zero-gravity chair. Meanwhile your baseball team is the Trash Pandas, which is the most honest branding this city has ever done.
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