Roasted 6d ago17 views17 pts
We're sorry. Actually, no we're not.
Edmonton has Connor McDavid, and the whole city still treats every playoff run like a hostage situation. The fanbase is optimistic in September, heartbroken by spring, and somehow shocked every single time. Even the city's history makes it worse: Chris Pronger demanded a trade right after the 2006 Cup Final run, which is the most Oilers way to say goodbye.
Edmonton's greatest contribution to civilization is West Edmonton Mall, which once got marketed as the Eighth Wonder of the World. That says it all: when it's -35 for six months, the most exciting thing to do is buy pants next to a sea lion. The locals call it 'WEM' like it's a beloved family member, which is adorable and also a cry for help.
Edmonton's culinary identity is green onion cakes, donairs, and perogies, aka the holy trinity of 'something warm to eat while you wait for the bus.' The donair shops are everywhere, which is less a food scene and more a hostage situation with garlic sauce. To be fair, it's delicious, and you'll need the calories for the six-month winter.
Edmonton's four seasons are Almost Winter, Winter, Still Winter, and Construction. Locals proudly call -25 'a bit crisp' and keep an ice scraper in the car in June, because denial is a survival skill. And then there's the 'Deadmonton' nickname, which locals only use ironically while everybody else uses it unironically, which is the most Edmonton thing possible: loudly bashing the city while fiercely defending it from outsiders.
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