OFFICIAL ROAST REPORT
We're sorry. Actually, no we're not.
With 25 people living in 0.11 square miles, Atomic City manages to pack more nuclear catastrophes per capita than anywhere else in America. They've got the SL-1 explosion that killed three people, a reactor meltdown, and enough radiation anxiety that anti-radiation suits are apparently a common sight in town.
Nothing says 'thriving community' like a town so broke they voted themselves out of existence in 2020 but kept their dirt track raceway running. Weekend warriors drive from Montana and Wyoming to race on white clay over lava rock because apparently that's the most exciting thing happening within a 50-mile radius.
The entire business district consists of a gas station that doesn't sell gas anymore because they can't afford to upgrade their underground tanks. But hey, at least it's also the post office AND the bar, making it the world's most depressing triple threat establishment.
The peak of Atomic City's culinary scene is 'race tacos' - hamburger meat, cheese, and lettuce served in a bag of crushed Doritos at the raceway. When your signature dish comes in a chip bag and your town literally disincorporated itself, maybe it's time to reconsider your life choices.
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