Roasted Mar 23, 2026106 views106 pts
We're sorry. Actually, no we're not.
Named after a majestic ancient Greek city, but ended up becoming a tiny testament to broken dreams. The only epic thing about this place is how epically disappointing it must be to share a name with actual Argos.
Argos has fewer people than most college dorms, and somehow manages to be less exciting. This town is basically what happens when ambition gets lost on the way to somewhere better and decides to just... stay lost.
Argos High School calls themselves the Dragons, which is adorable considering they're about as fierce as a wet napkin. Playing sports in a town where the biggest excitement is watching the traffic light on US 31 change colors.
The dining scene peaked years ago and now consists of a handful of places that make residents so desperate they actually review gas station food positively. When your town's restaurant scene can be fully experienced in one afternoon, you know you've hit rock bottom.
1 person has voted
Every share moves Argos, Indiana up the leaderboard
Put Argos in the ring with a rival. Four rounds, one survivor.
The best roasts every Friday, delivered with mild apologies. Plus a heads-up when Argos, Indiana gets hit again.
Want to win prizes? Join the contest →All roasts are fictional and affectionate. Probably.